Life is a bitch.
Just when you think you’re living on cloud nine and no one and nothing can tear you down because you’re so damn happy that you feel indestructible, the world decides to pelt a shit load of rocks at you.
And not content with seeing you sobbing on the sofa with a pot of vegan ice cream watching Bridget Jones’ Diary while coming to the realisation that you’re never going to find your own Mr Darcey, someone from above decides throwing rocks at you isn’t quite enough and they want to see you suffer even more.
Obviously, on reflection, this isn’t the case. In the grand scheme of things, my issues aren’t the end of the world and they’re really not worth spending my entire weekend sulking in bed feeling sorry for myself.
That being said, when you feel like someone has sliced open your chest with a blunt Stanley knife, ripped out your heart with their bare hands, thrown it into a fire and then attempted to stuff the shriveled up pieces back into your body, it’s hard not to mope around listening to Adele’s ‘One and Only’ – or in my case Selena Gomez’s ‘Dilemma’ – and cursing the person who hurt you.
But there comes a point when you realise – after two weeks and four days – that you really need to get a grip, stop wallowing in your own pit and actually wash up the dishes you’ve been shoving in the sink for ‘later’. Life goes on, right? The world isn’t going to stop turning because you’re having a bad
Don’t get me wrong, heartache is honestly one of the worst feelings in the world because nothing and no one can take that pain away – there’s no medicine for it.
No one can tell you when it will start to get easier, nothing can numb it and, in between blubbering into a tissue, you feel stupid because you know there are much worse things going on in the world.
It doesn’t matter how long you’ve been with someone – maybe you weren’t even with them – heartache is still heartache – it’s real and it’s shit. But it’s also a learning curve. At this moment in time, you may think the person who broke your heart is the only person you want but the truth is, they’re not for you. If you’re meant to end up with this person, they won’t go by you.
There’s a quote I saw online recently that said:
“If you love something, set it free, if it comes back, it’s yours to keep.”
BULLSHIT… Honey, once I’ve set that lying piece of shit go, he ain’t ever getting let back in. I’m a firm believer in giving people second or sometimes even third chances – people make mistakes, we’re all human after all – but once I’m gone, I’m gone. I think that’s a good approach to have because once you let someone disrespect you once, they’ll keep pushing to see how much they can get away with. You’re too good to be treated like that – there’s someone out there for you who will treat you with the respect you deserve.
There’s nothing I can write here that will take your pain away but these tips will help you love yourself again and once you realise you deserve the best of the best, you’ll forget about that disrespectful baby boy. And, just think, if you can care about someone as much as you did with this immature loser, how good will it feel when you meet someone who cares about you just as equally as you do about them.
The last thing you want to do when you feel like shit – emotionally or physically – is clean your home but when you live in chaos, your head will be chaotic and, ultimately, your life will be chaotic. Wash all your bed sheets, hoover the sofas, bleach the bathroom until it’s gleaming and open those windows!
- Go to the gym
There’s nothing better than running on the treadmill while listening to Beyonce’s ‘Best You Never Had’. I swear to you, by the time you’ve got to the end of the song you’ll feel ready to take on the world again. When I’m feeling down or stressed about anything in life, I hit the gym hard – for at least two hours – and I take on every single class I can just to keep my mind pre-occupied.
Boxing is also a fab way to release the stress. I’m not a physical person whatsoever but when I’m angry or sad, my right hook has the ability to knock even Anthony Joshua out – just kidding, obvs. Love you AJ.
- Take up a new hobby
Whether it be a new sport or simply reading a new book, take the time to focus on yourself and look after yourself. How can anyone love you if you don’t respect yourself? After I split up with my boyfriend earlier this year, I took up dance. I used to be a freestyle dancer but gave it up due to “old age” and various other reasons but it felt so good to be back in the studio working on my body again.
I’ve also started writing my novel again. This novel has been in the works since 2012 but, with my job and other things, it’s been pushed to the back of my agenda. Now is the perfect time to throw myself back into creative writing again. There’s nothing better (for a writer, anyway) than to get lost in imagination.
- Pamper yourself
Take as many baths as you want with those vibrant lush bath bombs, dye your hair, get your nails done, fake tan every night until you’re a golden goddess – do whatever it takes to make you feel better about yourself, even if it means you’re only feeling content with yourself for three hours. Those three hours are better than the two weeks you’ve just wasted crying over a fuckboy. Am I right or am I right?
- Eat properly
It’s easy when you’re down to forget about your basic needs. But by starving yourself because you can’t be bothered to cook will do nothing but make you seriously ill. Experiment with new foods and bake some cakes (vegan, of course) because you’ll feel super good when your flat is smelling like brownies!
- Block that heartbreaker
This should really come first but I know how hard it is to block someone you want so badly. You’ve got to be mentally ready to turn your back on someone otherwise you’ll just unblock them again – meaning nothing is achieved! When you’re ready, block and delete them. You don’t need them there reminding you how much they didn’t want you.
You’re perfect, don’t change for anyone – if they can’t handle you, they’re not for you. Smile, keep your head up and prove to that dickhead that your life is better without him. Don’t regret anything either; I believe that everyone who enters and makes an impression on your life is there to teach you a lesson and help you on your journey through life. Be happy baby girlssssss, life is too short to cry over fuckboys <3
“Sometimes we stare so long at a door that is closing that we miss the one that’s opening.”